After long thought and consideration after a few days... I decided that for once I'll get a little personal on a blog! I know that it's unprofessional to go all in spilling beans and such on a blog for the public to see, majority of people would also think that maybe getting personal isn't truly good! But it's my blog and my choice... From my point of view it might open the eyes of other's going through the same thing in hopes that I lead them to that light at the end of the tunnel! With that being said, back to the story at hand...

I guess people, mostly guys that I come across (or date) get this notion that I need to be with someone like them or the other notion that a girl like me shouldn't be alone!?! The conversation flows until I hear one of those notions come up, then the brakes make me come to a screeching halt! Like c'mon man, I'm a grown woman, I'll be good whether I'm with someone or if I'm alone! Majority of women I know or come across always have this "fantasy" in their minds of what a relationship is supposed to be like, maybe watching Disney movies growing up gave them this idea.

That prince charming comes after you grow up, get your education and gain a career. Sorry to crush those dreams but it doesn't happen like that for everyone! 

A relationship is more than what the naked eye sees... At one point in my life I was in that fairy tale whirlwind and when I finally met the guy that I thought was the one of my dreams, it blinded me to every single fact that he truly wasn't as charming as I thought he was! I was dumb enough to put up with so much because I thought that the "love" was there, when in fact I was alone the entire relationship! I put up with this man's kids, I sacrificed so much (leaving my family, packing up and leaving one state to go to another) thinking that not only getting into school and getting into a solid job, maybe just maybe something would give relationship wise. I had my reservations, I was wrong, I even accused him sometimes of my intuitions, whether they were true or not, this same man I loved chose to step out on me! I feel that whether a person is accusing you of cheating, it does not give them the right or the reason to go out and do it. Deciding to cheat and not to leave is an excuse that all men give when they claim "they are in love but went out to lust, because they love you so much they didn't want to leave you but they just so happen to slip into the va-jay-jay of another woman"...  It had been long enough, I was tired of being boo-boo the fool!

After that and several other situations that I couldn't tolerate, I left him! After forgiving him twice, possibly being cheated on several times and feeling like he didn't love me at all he moved on quicker than a cheetah chases after a gazelle! Just as fast as he moved on, I had to learn that it's okay to be alone! It took a while for me to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart but while I was doing so, I was preparing myself to "DO ME"! In the process, I got my closure I needed from him, moved back home and quickly learned that a few guys were lined up for me. LOL! It's like all kinds of guys were waiting on me to break up with dude so they can get the chance! I spoke with some and yes even dated others, but to be honest there was only one I was interested in. Even though I was interested in that one (he had several flaws that I couldn't deal with so), I still had this single "it's okay to be alone" mentality! I dated that same guy for a few months, he would always bring up the fact that he didn't think I was over my ex, thinking that he was like captain save a broken girl! It annoyed me and made me feel like I should be alone because he would always refer to my ex to make himself seem like a hero! I took the extra mile just to let things go when all things started to fall apart for me, I needed to get myself together and focus on myself again!

Right now I'm doing pretty awesome. I've been single for over a year! My goal is to be with my ideal guy who is a perfect balance of a manly MAN: gentle, sympathetic, loving and faithful... Yeah a girl can dream but don't let those dreams overshadow what the reality truly is! Granted that is what I would like whenever God decides to bless me, but I'm totally fine with being alone. People get things misconstrued when they think that I'm lonely or that I have it all so why not settle down and share my life with someone! Listen Linda, listen honey I don't need a man at all to validate anything. I'm okay with being alone because it helps me get further in life without drama, without any regard to anyone else's feelings, etc. Until I'm ready to put up with that mess, I'll continue to be okay ALONE!

I'm not here to shame or judge other women if they feel like they need a man, without a man they are nothing, they can't eat sleep walk talk without a man, or feel that they need to move on to the next to validate the fact that they will never be alone. By all means if you feel opposite or believe that it's okay to keep a companion, to each their own! But one way or the other, you came into the world alone you will leave it alone... In essence you will have to one day sit and prepare yourself to be okay by yourself! Focus on so many other things instead of getting lost in someone else. Being with someone just because it gives you security and not for true feelings dooms your relationship from the start anyway. Just spare yourself the time and heartbreak, remember girl, "It is okay to be alone!"

Thanks for reading.... Until next time!