I have no idea what brought me to blog about this topic... But I guess putting things in my perspective could help another! I never thought to myself that I was ever an ugly duckling while growing up... I was a cute little girl with long hair and brown eyes in my younger years! As soon a puberty hit, it was another story... I was in an era where being a tomboy/pretty girl came all too easy! I was a mix in between... One day you could find me in some J's and the next day you would find me in some cute little sandals! I never ever had any intentions on learning how to walk in heels, didn't have my ears pierced, wear anything tight, I hated dresses, never wore accessories or makeup at all until around the age of 18! Crazy right? I went to Miami with a few friends and lets just say my days of being a regular girl changed... A few hours in Sephora and my life totally enhanced! I had many days where I was picked on for not being a girly girl, yeah at a young age we cry but as adults we grow thicker skin... Our haters throw stones and we block them with our self love shield... A lot of people don't have a shield to protect themselves...

"...and then one day she realized that the things they thought about her never really mattered! The love that she had for herself supersedes anything anyone could ever think or say to bring her down..."

But I say those things to say that I truly don't need any of the materialistic things to make me feel better as a person at all! Enhancements don't cure self love, it takes a person to take time out, make changes and take effort on making yourself matter most. A lot of women choose to hide behind their flaws in materialistic things. They lack confidence only because they were never taught it! Majority of women who lack confidence really don't value themselves and truly don't love themselves at all let alone loving themselves first... Or some women are so busy trying to find love or quite even possibly losing themselves in loving someone else. I've honestly had my share of all 3 granted that I felt confident! At one point in time I didn't value myself, I also found myself loving someone and not taking the time out to give myself love, and even took time out to search for love ending up loveless! These kinds of women have to fill the void with other things... In that sense you have to find out what barriers are keeping you from loving yourself and in order to do so I have 6 steps to start loving yourself first!

Step #1: Learn to accept yourself (even when you f*ck up)...  You might experience some real jacked up things in life, but honestly those things toughen your skin! You learn so that you can love again... Not only that, the bad things teach you that you deserve more than what you are going through! Go through it once, you learn not to go through it again! Once you accept yourself you can focus on your positive qualities and learn how to make yourself happy the same way other people would do it, without needing people to reinforce the happiness you can gain yourself being alone... 

Step #2: Do things that you love... When you spend more time focusing on things that you love, you feel more accomplished and in essence you start to lift your own spirits! For example, you start going to the gym, you lose 10 pounds... Boom! You congratulate yourself and once you start making milestones you can look back and say "Look at me staying positive, this boosts my confidence!" You look in the mirror and see a difference, your confidence is growing... You are so focused on doing you that you realize that you are loving yourself so much that you don't have time to give your love to someone else!

Step #3: Learn to take it easy! Don't always give yourself a hard time... You are not perfect! I REPEAT... You are not perfect... Embrace all of your faults, because they teach you to love yourself enough not to let negative things happen again. When you learn not to judge yourself it gives you room to love yourself even more.

Step #4: Learn to be alone... You come into the world alone, you die alone... Imagine yourself without anyone else on the planet with you, could you be content and happy with yourself at your lonesome? If you answered yes, then you love yourself enough to know that you have to give yourself love before you can give it to someone else... This is the ultimate test into finding out if you can indeed love someone else and love yourself as well! A lot of people need to realize that with or without someone you can still be happy, this is where a huge disconnect is with women... Mistaking other things for love can make you lose yourself in loving someone else! Again learn to be alone...

Step #5: Start being thankful! To be honest, a lot of people don't know how to love themselves... Be grateful that you have a mind to love yourself. You could've been in another state of mind! You could be doing something to fill the void (drugs, lusting, drinking alcohol)... Thank God he is giving you another chance to make a change to love yourself all over again! Things could be much more worse...

Step #6: Find ways to love others... Do some community service, or volunteer at a shelter! When you do service for others, you open the door to love others... Giving the gift of love to others helps to build love for yourself even more... Just like going back to Step #2, when you see yourself doing good you start to gain confidence and more love for yourself! You realize that you don't need love from someone else when you are focused on giving back to so many other people. 

Of course you do have your moments where you feel alone, where you need someone to hold you, someone to stand in your corner...  But think about when you don't have everyone else! When you love yourself you are confident enough to get over a lot of things alone... Trust me it definitely takes time to build yourself back up again. It's not easy to learn how to love yourself, but if you take the time out to make changes you learn to grow thicker skin and also learn not to be easily broken. Don't hide behind it or try to fill the void, because sooner or later those things will catch up to you in the end! Remember, stay positive and start loving yourself today so that you can continue to love yourself for a lifetime!

Thanks again for reading... Until next time vixens!